Oct
21
I’ll Live Through
October 21, 2008 | |
Today’s Horoscope: You’ll form a compromise in a group situation today, and your reputation will glow.
Wah, so nice, the predictions for today i mean.
I was busy these two days. Slept after berbuka puasa last night until the next morning. Ahh…
Today, i survived. Maybe. Cos i havent seen my boss until now. Busy with meeting one whole day. Am waiting in the office for him to pass through. Its dark in the admin side.
i went out with 4 friends this weekend; Anwar, Hafiz, Fu and then Khalid. Wah so nice. Hanging out and talk, i mean. But of course, its just to fill the empty place in my heart (aduh jiwangnya)!. But its true. And damn i dont care who read this post and what their comments are. I want to write and pour my heart out and cry. (well, maybe not the last one)
I miss him. A lot. 3 weeks, four if you count this week. Everything is not the same anymore. It started since the last day of puasa until now. Its not the same anymore. And i dont know what to do. I can act tough all i want; but i am still perempuan. Gosh i hate to admit this. But berapa lama?
I dont know whether the changes because of his mom’s condition, his act of kindness towards his particular friend, his rimas-ness of being ‘tied up’ (or so he claimed) or of me being transfered to admin and we are not in the same unit or of he changed his room to another wing. Maybe all five. Or maybe its just fate that is supposed to happen.
Oh boy do i learn to be tough and patient. Very patient. Am i giving up? I dont think so. I think i just am busy and tired and taking the ‘taking things slowly, wait and see’approach.
Oh yeah, i bought 4 new books these past few days! Yea… The first is chedet.com: Blogging to Unblock by Dr. M. Hmm, one of my idol! tried to read a few but since am so damn busy, i managed a few.
The next was Haruki Murakami’s Blind Woman, Sleeping Willow i think. But ada the blind word and the willow word, defenitely. Its a compilation of 24 short stories that’s really amazing; cos i cant think of why he wrote it in the first place. Its really ironic; as thw first two stories i read are simple, basic daily life events that has a weird ending. I find myself asking ‘What’s the purpose of this story? Is there a hidden message around it? What is it?’ I started to feel that im kinda stupid if i cant figure out what is the the girl’s birthday wish in story no 2 which i read last night before i slept.
But i started to understand why my BATI friends read his books. Its really, really interesting.
Well.. well.. I kinda stuck!
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